People Pleasing: What is it? Why do we do it? How do we stop?
In my book, Is It Love or Is It Addiction?, I refer to people pleasing as over-adapting to what others want or what we imagine they want. Adapting can be a good thing. We adjust or conform to a situation or person to live cooperatively. If you agree to meet at 8, you do; you stop at red lights; you do your half of the relationship. These adaptations make life and relationships run smoothly. Healthy adaptations are thoughtful and respectful.
Valentines Day: How to Say I Love You without Breaking the Bank
Many people grumble that Valentine’s Day forces them to do something special for a loved one, find the right card or buy a unique gift, and resent it. Others, if they are not in a romantic relationship, in a bad relationship, or recently lost a loved one, often feel alone or blue. We need to take a broader view of this day.
When to Breakup with a Friend
We spend a great deal of time thinking, reading, and talking about our primary love relationships—a romantic partner, a spouse, a lover—and if it is salvageable or worth keeping. What about friendships? Research states that we go more to our friends to get needs met or to experience emotional intimacy than we go to our main love objects.
Love Addiction & Transactional Analysis
To the unconscious mind, love addiction makes perfect sense. – Brenda Schaeffer
Adopted as a child into a family that gave him little love or emotional support, Cary had suffered sexual, emotional, and physical abuse. As a result, he vowed he would never get close to anyone, for to do so was too dangerous—or so his childhood experiences had led him to believe.
The Power of Love and Covid 19
Love is the most cost-effective medical insurance policy and the cheapest medicine there is.
What is Love?
Valentine’s Day is a day we honor love. I consider that a good thing. Of all the mysteries that enchant us, love may be the one most sought after. Yet many question what love really is or if it exists at all.
Trauma and Relationships
Love is the most cost-effective medical insurance policy and
the cheapest medicine there is. And there is no end to its supply.
--From Loves Way Brenda Schaeffer
Is Dependency Always Bad?
I am often asked when I talk about love addiction Is dependency always bad?
My Answer: No, not at all. There are three types of dependency:Primary, Addictive, and Autonomous.
What You Can Learn from Grip of the Hawk
A psychologist has sometimes been described as an advice giver. And though I want to guide patients to answers when possible, my non-fiction books are filled with advice and useful self-help tools. But what about in my novel, Grip of the Hawk?
The Meaning of the Hawk
A spirit animal, Hawk, plays a significant role in Grip of the Hawk. Hawk Medicine teaches us to be observant and see things from a higher perspective. But what exactly is a spirit animal and where did the concept come from?
Happy Holidays II
What can we do to remedy the holiday blues and experience more joy, peace and love during this time of year? Isn’t that what the greetings wish for us? Even though there are the well wishes, we often have to discipline our self to get there. Here are some things you can do.
Holiday Blues Part I
It is upon us: the season of good cheer, warm fuzzies and togetherness. Or so they say. If we are to be decking the halls with lots of jollies, why is it that so many grumble and grunt, get sick, anxious and depressed or simply “bah humbug” it all?