What is Love?

Valentine’s Day is a day we honor love.  I consider that a good thing.  Of all the mysteries that enchant us, love may be the one most sought after.  Yet many question what love really is or if it exists at all.

Love is a word we have given to an enormous power that is at our fingertips and all we need do is plug in.  Science is now confirming what the mystics and poets have been telling us all along.  Love is an energy, has a resonance we can measure, and its supply is endless.  Love does not care what you look like, what you believe, whether you are married or single, sinner or saint.  In fact you do not need to be in a relationship to experience love.  Relationships are neutral places where we can express love or not express it.

We started out in life being open to love.  But most of us, in a moment of closeness, got hurt or felt betrayed.  We felt a pain in our heart and our heart, being a muscle, began to recoil.  Though we may want to put out or receive love, our hearts may literally be too up-tight to do so.  We are all a bit love disabled, veterans of a war we did not know we were in.  Too much of life is lost to safeguarding, calculating, planning, searching or waiting for love.

We must not confuse the power of love with sentimentality or physical love.  It is far greater. Whereas an unhealthy relationship makes us sick, true love nourishes us and others.  It improves the immune system, increases life expectancy, reduces depression, produces zestful children, and induces feelings of calm.  Love is the cheapest medicine there is and there is no end to its supply.  Putting love into our love life is choice

Love is in your relationship when it:

  •      is ‘green and growing’

  •      feels safe

  •      is free from ego-driven expectations and outcomes

  •   shares power

  •      brings out the best in self and other

  •   is vital and alive

  •      has abundant healthy bonding

  •      gives from the heart

  •      is emotionally honest

  •      celebrates the positives in the other

  •      settles differences with objectivity and compassion

  •      has integrity

  •      is congruent—words and actions match

Starting with this Valentine’s Day, practice the above that you recognize and work to develop what is not there.  Good luck.